Dear Cancer, Fuck You.
Death isn’t fair, having someone you love and then having them taking away from you. Unexpected deaths catch you off guard and shake your whole world and turn it upside down and those aren’t fair at all, they’re tragic. But knowing someone’s going to die, when it’s expected, I think is the most painful thing ever. Having to sit there watching someone die and not being able to do anything to change it sucks. You just sit there day after day watching them slowly slip away and it rips apart your heart more and more every day that passes. You feel helpless and angry and sad and it’s not fair at all.
I hate cancer and I hate that everyone around me keeps getting it. First my aunt died from breast cancer last year. Now my cousins fighting it and the doctors say he only has a couple years left. And now my uncle’s dying from it. It scares me how one week you’re talking to someone about sports and everything’s fine and the next week turns into the last week you have with them. My uncle was good last week. Last month he had surgery to remove lung cancer and they didn’t think he would make it out of the surgery alive, but he proved them wrong. He went to rehab after and he was coming home, it was supposed to be good. Last week we were joking about how nursing homes suck and I was making fun of him for not wanting to go play bingo with all the ladies there. We had wheelchair races and drove the nurses nuts. We were talking about school and he told me how proud he was that I’m doing well. Everything was good and then I left and he was going home the next day. I was supposed to go visit him again today but he ended up in the hospital. I didn’t get to talk to him today. And now I’m never going to have the chance to talk to him again and that’s not fair. He technically died twice today and they brought him back to life and now he’s just lying in a hospital bed in a coma and we’re supposed to decide to pull the plug or not. It’s not fair. No death is fair but knowing its coming sucks. Having to accept that it’s happening sucks. Having to watch someone die isn’t fair. How are you supposed to live with knowing when you wake up in the morning you’re going to have to say goodbye. How do you just pull the plug on someone. It’s absurd to me. It’s the most painful thing ever. I was supposed to see him today, we were supposed to watch criminal minds and hangout. It’s not fair that we didn’t get the chance to.
And now I’m supposed to go to bed and wake up in the morning and say goodbye because cancer sucks and death isn’t fair. It’s scary, you can lose someone you love at any moment and there’s nothing you can do to stop it whether you see it coming or not. Death makes you helpless and tomorrow’s going to be the hardest day ever.
